So, i never blog, EVER. First, i wanna say that i am truly blessed. There’s so many things i need to say and i don’t even know where to begin. December 29, 2009 around 12:30 am was one of the worst experiences i have ever had, nor do i want to EVER repeat. That night/morning was when i flipped and totaled my jeep. I was just down the road from April’s house when a big black dog ran out in front of me, so i swerved to miss it and when i did i hit a parked car and then flipped nearly 3-4 times and luckily landed upright. Not even a minute before that April texted me and asked where i was and i didn’t reply because i was going to just show up since i was right there. So, once i was stable i used someones phone to call her. Let me tell you, when i saw her pull up and she got out of the car, we just ran to each other and gave each other a HUGH hug. I was so scared. I only came out of the wreck with a “fractured” wrist, lol.

I would actually rather talk about something else, something that means the world and everything in it to me. The girl who i am absolutely crazy and am in love with, April Yvonne Clack. She is so amazing and wonderful. So sweet, caring, loving, beautiful, gorgeous, and so much more that words cant even begin to describe her. Yes, she does get a little mad and does/says things she doesn’t mean but when she cools down, she will do anything for anyone. This girl has seriously made me want so many things i have never wanted, nor thought about. She is my life support, my oxygen, basically everything. Without her i wouldn’t be who i am today nor even close to it. I love her so much, i would give my life right here and now to make sure she was okay. She has helped open my eyes to so much. This is going to sound kind of lame, but its true. She makes me feel like a little school boy with a crush. She takes my breath away by just looking at me, makes my my body tingle when she touches it, makes my heart skip when she kisses me.

and oh yeah i did steal this from you because i feel the exact same way and couldn’t have said it better myself.

just wanted to let you guys know how in love i am. AND no matter how hard me & April fight , we will stay strong & stick together. Because trust me, we get in pretty bad fights.. haha.

April Yvonne Clack, In my eyes you are perfect in this imperfect world. You make me want to do the impossible & do things i know i would doubt doing. You make me happy, and not afraid to live life & move on from my past. God is constantly putting tests in front of us & we keep succeeding. I know that He made you for me & vice versa. So as we go along in life, you will always have me. So dont be scared. Im not. Cause i have you (:

PS: I love you more.

So, tonight has gone VERY badly. I’ve lost the ONE thing that means the world to me. i know I’m not the best boyfriend, but I’ve always been truthful to April. They say telling the truth is the best way out, not true! April, I’m guessing my ex g/f now, read some msgs from along time ago to this girl i know. In the messages it says i wanted to be more than friends. Thats not the big issue, its the fact April believes i lied to her when i told her no i didn’t like or want to date her. Thats the truth. What i really was trying to do was just get a piece of ass from her, which i told her and its the truth. She says that i lied to her, when i REALLY didn’t. I’ve never lied to her before, and wont start now, and i told her the truth but she insist that I’m lying still. She thinks that I’ve been using her, which is far from true. I love her with all my heart and everything i have. I show her everyday, i tell her everyday, and even show her when we fight. Lets say i did lie, it would haven been one time where she has lied to me MANY times and i let it go and forgave her because i truly love her. Normally when we fight, i let her have her time and calm down. But tonight, shes said a few things she has never said before. Shes never said she never wanted to be with me anymore, she regrets ever being with me, and some others things i rather not say. I really truly love and am IN LOVE with her. I honestly cant be without her. I’m already going crazy knowing she regrets being with me and shes done with me. I can’t go everyday knowing i lost the best thing that has ever happen to me, i just cant.I love her more than i could ever love someone. EVER. I’ve been breaking down in tears the last couple hours. I can’t continue typing this. I love you SO MUCH April Yvonne Clack!

i decided to make a blog…. i don’t really blog… but i thought i would make one so i can sometimes get how I’m feeling out… tonight is another one of my sleepless nights… tonight was going very good until about 4am… i really don’t know what happened… i just know that it didn’t go well at all and i feel like shit… I’m not gonna talk about what happen or how i feel about it because it doesn’t matter now.. i still don’t know what is going on with April and myself right now.. but i do want to talk about how i feel about her… i love her with all of my heart and everything i have. i will do anything for her. i feel like i don’t make her happy like i should be doing. its like no matter what i do i always end up making her unhappy…. i plan on being with her the rest of my life, and i will (being as to if she allows that or not, which I’m sure she will). Right now all i can think about is holding her in my arms and telling her how much i love her. I’m so deeply in love with her and its all new too me so I’m still learning and getting used to the feeling of being in love.. this blog might not make any sense to anyone but it makes perfect sense to me…. i cant begin to describe how i feel about April but try to do the best to show her how much to do love her. i just want her to know that no matter what we go through I’m always going to be by her side. I love you April, always remember that.